Mother's Intuition

Ever since Joey was born, I feel like I've had a pretty strong sense of mother's intuition (MI).

When Emmalyn was born, I still felt like I knew what I was doing, since I had a baby before.

I was kind of wrong...Emmalyn was very high needs, and I didn't know what to do except hold her in one exact position that she stopped crying in.

Now, she's almost 8 months old, and I feel like my mother's intuition is completely gone.

She didn't gain weight very well for the first several months of her life (at almost 8 months old, she's probably barely 13 pounds). I was trying so hard to breastfeed her, and to listen to her doctor, that I kind of lost my sense of my MI. I was relying on her doctor's advice to try to make things better for her, which, some helped, and some just drove me nuts, and a little of it just completely wasted our time and money. He was wanting to see her almost every 2 weeks, which was about 60-70 dollars every month, which is money we don't have for him just to say, "she isn't gaining well, we need to see her in 7-10 days, and if she isn't gaining, we'll do xyz". We did the blood work, and the stool sample, which all came back fine. This last appointment we went to was her 6 month appointment, which was covered completely by insurance. She was still under 13 pounds, and he was still concerned. He told us we'd be getting a referral to a GI specialist if in 7-10 days she didn't gain anything. I was told to stop breastfeeding, and to start concentrating formula, so that we could just pump her full of calories and make her gain weight. I am no longer breastfeeding thanks to him. She is 100% of formula, and still hasn't gained 2 pounds since her 6 month check up. I was looking at Jonathan's old baby albums, and apparently, she looks just like him at this age; he was skinny, no rolls, and was completely healthy. I'm pretty angry that my milk is gone and that she won't nurse anymore. 

We're done with the pediatrician. If something horrible happens (like she is screaming her head off or vomiting every feeding, or is just acting odd) I'll take her in, but right now, we don't need to be seen. She's just a tiny baby, and she probably always will be, and that's okay. She's not unhealthy; I don't keep food from her, and I don't neglect her. I plan on ordering our own baby scale so I can weigh her every month, just to keep up with her blog updates. That's really the only reason we go to the doctor for check-ups; none of our children get, or will get, vaccinations (unless they decided to later on) so there's really no point to go, unless they're sick.

I guess maybe I do have mother's intuition, but it's a little less obvious than when I had Joey.